I came across an old Cherokee parable this week that stopped me cold. “Inside each of us are two wolves at war. One embodies anger, resentment, ego, and fear. The other embodies peace, compassion, growth, and collaboration. Which one wins? The one you feed.”
As a business leader, I could not shake the question: Which wolf am I feeding in my organization?
It is easy to dismiss this as philosophical. It is not. It is brutally practical. Because you are feeding one wolf or the other every single day through your decisions, your reactions, and the moments when no one is watching.
The Two Wolves of Leadership
In business terms, these wolves represent two fundamentally different leadership behaviors.
The fear wolf shows up as blame (“whose fault is this?”), ego (shooting the messenger), defensiveness (rejecting bad news), and panic control (micromanaging when things go sideways). It is leadership that reacts from anxiety and self-preservation.
The growth wolf shows up as curiosity (“what happened here?”), coaching (helping people learn from mistakes), accountability (addressing problems without tearing people down), and learning orientation (treating setbacks as data, not disasters).
Most leaders do not consciously choose the fear wolf. But under pressure, it is the easier path. It feels faster. It feels protective. And it absolutely destroys culture.
Leadership in Real Moments
Consider the scenarios every leader faces:
When there is a major screw-up, do you ask, “who’s fault is this?” Or, “how do we fix this and prevent it next time?” One question hunts for a scapegoat. The other hunts for a solution.
When someone brings you bad news, do you shoot the messenger or thank them for transparency? Your reaction determines whether you will hear bad news early next time — or whether it will be buried until it is catastrophic.
When a team member fails, do you penalize or coach? When a competitor wins a deal, do you analyze or panic? When revenue dips, do you strategize or micromanage?
These are not hypothetical. These are Monday mornings. Quarterly reviews. Budget cuts. Difficult client calls.
You are always feeding one wolf or the other.
The Cultural Consequences
Here is what happens next:
Feed the fear wolf, and your team hides problems, plays it safe, and covers their ass. Information moves slowly. People wait to be told what to do. Innovation dies because risk is punished. You end up managing in the dark because no one wants to be the bearer of bad news.
Feed the growth wolf, and your team brings solutions, takes ownership, and innovates. Problems surface early when they are small and fixable. People think like owners because they are treated like owners. You build a culture that learns faster than your competition.
The culture you build is not about your values poster on the wall. It is about which wolf you feed in the thousand small moments when no one is watching.
The Hidden Leadership Test
The real test of leadership is not what you say in an all-hands meetings. It is what you do when:
- A project fails and your team is watching how you respond
- Someone admits a mistake before you discover it
- You are blindsided by information you should have known sooner
- The numbers are bad and the pressure is on
These unscripted moments are where culture is actually built. Your people are reading you constantly. They are learning what is safe, what is valued, and what is punished. They are deciding whether to bring you problems or hide them. Whether to take risks or play it safe.
Before You React
Before you react to bad news, a mistake, or a crisis, ask yourself:
- Am I about to make this person regret their honesty?
- Am I reacting from fear, or from curiosity?
- Will my response make the next problem surface faster or slower?
- What am I teaching my team about risk, ownership, and transparency right now?
The wolf you feed shapes everything: your culture, your team’s behavior, your company’s capacity to learn and adapt.
Which One Are You Feeding?
Every response is a choice. Every choice feeds a wolf.
Which wolf are you feeding?
