My-Job-Requires-that-You-Drive-Me-Crazy

Letter to Uncle Papa

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Dear Uncle Papa,

I have finally settled in here in New Jersey. I’m overwhelmed and exhausted from the move. Your apartment building is everything you said it would be: so lovely and well-maintained. Thank God I am on the first floor! Tomorrow, I start at eMazzanti Technologies. It’s only four blocks away. My interview was quite eye-opening. I have six monitors on my desk, imagine that! I learned a lot in orientation. Which brings me to this: I can’t say that I don’t absolutely love your hands-on approach to communicating. The handwritten letters, snail mail, rotary phones, and such. It is a bit outdated for 2024, although it’s quite endearing. It does slow down the pace. Your company, Bloomfield & Marsh, could benefit from technology. My job requires me to teach companies like yours to explore the possibilities, enhance their security posture, and double their income. I’m an Account Manager, Uncle! I hope to sign up your company as my first client. Hopefully, my enthusiasm doesn’t put you off. I cannot thank you enough for pushing me through school and not giving up on me when I wanted to quit. First things first, however. I want to show you how technology can change your life. If it’s okay with you, I would like to discuss it over lunch on Sunday at the vineyard.

Hugs and kisses, Charlene.

The Vineyard

I approach the front door of Uncle Papa’s estate, and tug on the huge door ring. Memories of my summers here as a kid and the smell of a library flood my mind. “There she is,” he starts to stand full, of anticipation. “My Chi Chi.” .

“You know,” I say sweetly, drawing closer to him, “they’re calling me Charlene these days.”

I smile as I look at his stacks of business records. “Uncle, you could have a better filing system on a computer with all of your information at the tip of your fingers.”

“So I can be scammed?” he replied. “I don’t even own a computer; computers are for suckers! Internet thieves and bank robbers.”

“Uncle, my company can help you with iManage, which helps the world’s leading organizations manage documents and email more efficiently. They protect vital information assets, and use knowledge to drive better business outcomes.”

“We have the best eCare software to protect your computer from outside hackers and viruses. Your information would be protected,” I add.

“I think I like things the way they are. I do appreciate your concern, but I am just not interested,” he says. “Let’s go to lunch,” he says, taking my arm.

“Charlene,” my aunt says, making her way down the red carpeted castle-styled staircase. The kiss on each cheek always tickles me because we are as American as American can get. Yet, I am here to please, so I smile and humble myself.

After being seated at the smaller dining table on the verandah, I was taken aback at how beautifully seated my uncle’s mansion sat on the Hudson.

“What if I do all the heavy lifting?” I asked, scooting to the edge of my seat. “He sighs, ‘Heavy lifting, what’s that supposed to mean?’ adding butter to his bread. “Think about it,” I say. “You have no internet access, no real phone, and no filing system for easier access to documents.” “No system?” he hums. “I will personally come out and ensure that all your paper files are converted electronically, and I will organize your paper files in the file drawers in the lower library,” I then air-quoted and said consecutively, “heavy lifting.” Sitting back in his chair, he takes his glasses off, resting his arms on his armrest. “I really do like everything the way it is,” he starts. “I know, Uncle Papa,” I reply. “It’s a scary change, but think of all the free time you’ll have to spend with Auntie.” My aunt reaches out her hand to him. “You may even mentally ‘retire early,’” I added. “Wouldn’t it be nice to sleep in?” I asked inventively. “I feel like I’m signing my death warrant,” he says in a squeaking voice.

Over lunch, I outline how we can replace his manual recordkeeping and other tasks with automated, secure digital systems. “Fine,” he says, slicing into his steak. “Don’t lose it when I put the proposal together because you have absolutely NOTHING technical here,” I stare at him and then look to my aunt. “Just send the proposal to me, dear,” my aunt winks. “My first sale,” I exhale.

My-Job-Requires-that-You-Drive-Me-Crazy_Subimage

The Office

“Teams voice call from Bloomfield & Marsh,” the phone robotically sets off in my ears. “It’s a great day at eMazzanti,” the voice comes through. “Uncle Papa?”

“So… will I be getting computers today?” he asks me.

“Uncle, we just spoke yesterday.”

“Yeah, but you said that you would take care of all of the heavy lifting.”

“I did say that,” I reply. “But first, Uncle, I have to send you a proposal with a quote. We will explain the scope of work and answer any questions you may have. You can determine if what we are proposing works for you at that time.”

“Oh, never mind all of that, just get me set up,” he demands. “I trust your judgment. Where do I sign?”

“Not yet, Mr. Bloomfield,” I quickly switched to being more professional. “May I speak with Mr. Danforth? I need to do a quick discovery. Can you send me blueprints for all 36 floors at the 11 Grove building, the number of employees, and include names for emails and any potential spaces that can be used for a server room? In addition, I’ll need blueprints of my uncle’s home so that I can do the same. He’ll need space for a server room as well, and a media room.”

Approved Quotes

The quotes are delivered by courier, and my uncle signs on the spot. A few days later he places his first Teams call, to me. “Show me all the top-secret stuff,” he says. This from the man who wanted nothing to do with technology a couple of days ago.

“I had no idea that a company like eMazzanti Technologies existed,” he adds. “I mean, they took a multimillion company from paper to digital in a matter of days.”

“Well, you got lucky, Uncle,” I chime in. “There is usually a wait for hardware and scheduling, but we utilized a mixture of what we had in stock and what could be shipped overnight. Plus, our staff is always ready to take on a tsunami. “We are all grateful to have you on board.

“I know I drove you a little crazy,” my uncle says, lowering his voice.

“It’s okay,” I reply. “My job requires that you drive me crazy! You know, most companies only think about IT when they start bleeding money.”

“Well, not me,” my uncle peers into the camera. “Let’s talk this over on Sunday, at lunch. I’ll be in Hoboken Saturday for your document management training session, and I’ll extend my stay till Sunday.  I’m sure I’ll have a lot more to show you,” he chuckles.

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